Feelings

So in about 3 weeks or so a good friend is moving... He has gotten his dream job. Don't get me wrong I am very happy for them, but mad anger sad all at the same time.. About a year ago I started working with the youth group.. and Marcus was/is a great mentor! He has been there though a lot with me.. He is always so positive .. it just wears off on a person.. like me! It is amazing how God can work though someone to make you look deeper inside yourself. On a number to times I have done this... just stopped to listen to what my heart was telling me.. and it has brought me closer to God! So how can one have so many feelings go though them at one time.. Because I have them all right now... happy mad anger and sad.... how can this be?

The stresses of life

Why when you think you have it all under control something happens.. and you don't... Is this just God's way of testing me? I wish I knew... but I don't and I know I need to just leave it to God, but that is harder than I thought. I have tried but nothing ever happens when I want it to.. I guess I want the control and not let God do it... I just need to trust God more and not keep control... but how?? If I didn't stress about money it would be something else.. Why does one stress for? If God knows our life story than why do we worry about everything? Does God do this so to see how far we will go before we say ok God I am done.. you tell me what to do.. Is it ok that we question God.. It is times like this that I think that God doesn't care about me, but I know that he is there and cares all the time... I don't normally worry about money or other things.. but I am today for some reason.. Maybe God wants me to go back to work if that is the case than I will.. but I love staying home with William... maybe a part time job so that I can still be home with him too I haven't worked in over a year and who is going to hire someone who only wants to work on darning the week and not the weekends? And part time .. I have thought about watching kids, but how do I do that... meaning how do I get the word out there...
And to make matters worse, some people I am very close with are moving.. and I am sad.. I love them dearly and they have done so much for me and my family.. Words can't express how I am feeling about them leaving.. I will miss them tons and will always be thankful to them ..

Pray that I can give God control and trust him more... And keep my friends in your prayers as they move to there new jobs thanks

Love,
Me