life... an update???

So I thought I would update you all on my lunch with Nicole. It went well, and of course it was just like all the other times we were together... our chat was nothing deep but very general. I didn't cry when I left, and I think that it is because I am over it or very unemotional (wow that is a big word). Anyways I have not heard from her and I don't think that I will for a while I am guessing.. Moving on, Duane and I have decided that we are ready for another little Lloyd running around. I think that the next baby will be that last one.. 2 sounds good. We are ready to get out of my parents house too, but in order to do that I will have to get a full time job. And I am ok with that. So now I just have to find the right job that will pay me enough to put William in daycare, and still have money left over to pay bills.
In other news... Youth has started up again and I am excited about the new year and a new youth pastor. What an exciting time!!
Wednesday nights have started up.. or SOUP and I am in a class the fist time in about... oh ever!!! And I am enjoying it. I have learned a lot about me. It is nice to beable to do something for me and not have a 3 year old there distracting me.
I think that I am done rambling on.. Next time hopefully I will have more to say.

hmmmmm......

So in a matter of days my best friend of 26 plus years is moving to a different state. I thought that I was ok with it because we have grown apart the last few years. But deep down inside I don't want her to move. As I sit here I can't stop thinking about how my life hasn't changed all that much,well ok it has a little, but to me it hasn't. I am in the same town I grow up in and it doesn't look like I will ever be moving out of it. This is not what I had planned for my life. I had big dreams of getting my education and teaching and having a big family and not to worry about how I am going to pay a bill. I guess part of my dram has come true I have a family thou it isn't as big as I hoped but I am ok with it. My dream wasn't what God plan was, and I am having a hard time excepting it. I want God to be in control but why is it that when things don't go the way you want the first thing you think is God why are you doing this to me? I have said that a number of times in my life and I sit here saying it now. Why? I don't know, but it is hard not to just wait and see what God is doing in my life. I know that he is making the perfect person in his eyes, but why don't I like what I am going though to became the person he wants me to be? Is it life's lessons, or is God trying to teach me something important and I am not listening. OOPS I think that I got off the subject.... Sorry.. anyways.. So Nicole, my friend, and I are going to lunch next Monday for the last time for a while. There are so many things that I was to say to her, but I don't want to leave on bad note.. I should just tell her what is on my heart and pray that she understands what I am saying... Much easier said than done!! So by now you are all saying to yourself the women needs help, right? Well, I don't need help just some prayers that I can better understand what God is telling me, and that I can find comfort in his word. Thanks for reading... God bless you all!!