Signs..

I am happy to report that I am single . Not dating a soul. God blessed me in ways I can't even begin to talk about. I know that when the right man comes along God will make it clear to me that he is the one. I thought God had done that with this guy, but i was wrong on so many levels. I started feeling as though this wasn't right about a week ago when God showed me the first sign of this not working. And i questioned it because i wanted it so bad, but God kept given me reasons not to move, not to continue this relationship. I didn't want to believe God, I was right and he was wrong. But God never stopped showing me signs, and though my heart was hurting and I was upset I knew what i had to do. And so I ended the relationship, it was hard, it was a lot of praying, crying, unsure of what to say, to let God give me words. I did it.. it was hard.. I hated every second of it, because i wanted it so badly. I had to listen to God he is in control. I am still not 100% sure i did the right thing, but God is showing me that i did. I am slowly looking at the bigger picture God is giving me. There were a lot of things that needed to be taken care of before i could move. And one of them was/is getting my divorce over, how can i move when i am still legally married. And how could i move known that my son's well being needed to be taken care of. My son has had a tough year, and putting him in a place where he didn't know anyone that well but me was another sign. My son is my life and I couldn't let his well being come before anything, not even a man. I can't in good faith move my son 2 months into the school year when my divorce is over. Not fair to his education. I only what is best for my son, and not moving in the middle of a semester is best. I could go on and on about that signs God showed me, but when you look at it, it was God controlling my life.. Telling me what was right what i needed to do. Yes, i am hurting still . Will i move on.. Yes i believe I will. Have i learned from this. Yep i sure have. I can't let any man or person come in front of the only child i have. The only child that God has blessed me with. My son means the world to me. His happiness is everything.
So the signs God shows you when you are wondering.. Look at them listen to them.. God knows what is right, give God control. Let him lead you, after all God is the one you created you, he is the one who knows best.
And as to my best friend... yes he is a male, God has put him in my life for a reason I don't know, am I happy about it yes. Confused yes wondering what God is doing YEP. But the only thing I can to is let God lead me.. whatever happens is because its of God and not me. I am blessed to have friends who know that when i let God lead me my life is at its best. So try.. let God lead you .. give God control.. listen to him.. love him. God will never ever let you down.. Life is simply to short not to be happy and full of Gods grace!!

Best friends

We all have best friends who we tell everything too and you never run out of things to talk about.. oh the ones who will let you talk and not say a word.. the best friend who knows right when to say the right thing.. to make you feel special.. I have lots of close friends that know alot about me and my life.. But you always have that one who you know with out a doubt you can always go to and they will love you support you and listen with out question.. I am bless to have that.. Its the best feeling to know that when we talk i have 100% of them... I love it!! its the best feeling. When I needed him the most he was there.. He helped me though a rough week and weekend! I am so grateful to him and for his support.. We have talked no less then 3 hours a night in the last week. you would think that we would run out of things to talk about.. but we don't.. I love it!! And when there is a quiet moment its ok.. because we have connected on a deeper level.. nothing is off limits when we talk.. and i mean nothing.. God works in ways that I can't even think about.. and he had a plan to put us together and become friends.. best friends.. I know when I started a relationship with someone, he was upset, but he stayed my friend and we still chatted.. God had a plan and still has a plan for us.. Though I don't know what it is or will be.. I am excited for what can or will happen. Do you have a best friend that you can share everything with and know that they are there no matter what.. I do, and I am truly blessed that he is in my life!!

Prayer

Today in Sunday School we talked about prayer. I wish we had more time to talk about it. I love just to talk about how others pray and what they pray about. How do you pray? what do you pray about? Do you pray differently for non- Christians? When you pray do you always ask and never thank?

People pray in different ways, forms, times of day. I thought I would share how I pray and when I pray. When I pray I normally do in my car cause that seems to work for me. Somedays though i talk to God all day. I love to just tell God whats on my mind even though I know he knows, it makes me feel. I wonder if some days he says, Marianne really could you just stop long enough for me to answer just one thing. I sometimes have a hard time listening to God, because i think what I have to say is far more important then what God has to say. Then there are days that i listen. I open my eyes more look around more. God answers prayers in ways that you may not even know he can. When I pray/talk to God sometimes I do nothing but ask for this or that. God can you help me with this, God i don't get this. And I never thank God for what he has done for me, his unconditional love for me, for everything in my life. I am far from good at prayer, but I k now God doesn't care if it is pretty, or worded right. All he cares about is if you are trusting him letting him control your life. There have been times in my life where I have wanted the control and have taken ( or at least i have taken it) and i have stopped talking to God and doing what ever i felt like. Then when things don't go as planned i blame God because after all he is control of me. But that isn't the case at all it that i didn't trust him enough to give up the control to him. In the last few months I have given God control and have let him lead me. Have i asked questions of God, have i wondered if letting God control my life plan, have i been unsure of what will happen next. YES I have, but it has done something to me it has made me look at what is going on around me. I am so truly blessed with a family that loves me no matter how upset they or I make them. They have got my back and are willing at a moments notice to pick up the pieces and help me put them back together. I have a son who with out a question loves me, and is the most important person in my life right next to God. I have a wonderful church family who supports me and loves me as I am no matter my faults. I have friends who support me and only want the best for me. I amazing man in my life that understands that i am not perfect and my life hasn't been easy, and wants to love me like i should be loved. And his wonderful family who have blessed me and supported me from day one! I am so blessed to have some any in my life. I know that God is in control and I am going to thank him each and everyday for all he has given me will give and has done for me. I may ask and ask when i pray, but now i am going to thank God. I love when my relationship grows with God it makes me want to dive in and soak up every word he is saying to. I want to live like he wants me to live. I am blessed and have never felt like i am going the right direction. But I feel i am moving up that big mountain coming out of a deep valley. Praising and Thanking God each and every step. Thank you God for teaching me that given you control and trusting you makes life so much more sweeter..

Struggling

Struggling...
Today I am having a hard time, today William goes to his dads for two weeks, today I am missing them. All I want is to be with my loves. I never thought that I would ever be going though what I am going through. Divorce sucks! Having to share my son sucks! Missing someone you love sucks! Missing family you have grown so close to and love sucks! So today I struggle with a sad heart that wants nothing more then to be with the ones I love.

Why is it that life is s struggle? Why is it we miss someone so much that you feel lost when you are not with them? Struggling...... God works in amazing ways that I can't explain. I put all my trust in him Known that what ever the plan I trust God. God is in the drivers seat he knows what why i am struggling today, he is teaching me in this struggle. Though I may not like it and hate all the feelings I have going on He is very much in control. Waiting for God to lead me.

In other news......
There is this amazing family in my life that I have totally falling in love with. One amazing man that never ceases to make me smile! Two amazing women who have quickly become my best friend and sisters. And a super sweet 8 year old who I adore. I am so very happy to have them in my life! I have never felt so welcomed in a family so loved from the very start. The talks we have the tears the flow the love that grows deeper.. All Gods work!! God has placed this family into my life for this very reason to grow old together! To experience life together! I feel like I am dreaming, and any second i am going to wake up and realize that this didn't happen. For my sake I hope i never wake up!! I am completely happy and in love! It has been a long long time that I have felt this way! I can't wait to see what the future holds! God is good!!!