hmmmmm......

So in a matter of days my best friend of 26 plus years is moving to a different state. I thought that I was ok with it because we have grown apart the last few years. But deep down inside I don't want her to move. As I sit here I can't stop thinking about how my life hasn't changed all that much,well ok it has a little, but to me it hasn't. I am in the same town I grow up in and it doesn't look like I will ever be moving out of it. This is not what I had planned for my life. I had big dreams of getting my education and teaching and having a big family and not to worry about how I am going to pay a bill. I guess part of my dram has come true I have a family thou it isn't as big as I hoped but I am ok with it. My dream wasn't what God plan was, and I am having a hard time excepting it. I want God to be in control but why is it that when things don't go the way you want the first thing you think is God why are you doing this to me? I have said that a number of times in my life and I sit here saying it now. Why? I don't know, but it is hard not to just wait and see what God is doing in my life. I know that he is making the perfect person in his eyes, but why don't I like what I am going though to became the person he wants me to be? Is it life's lessons, or is God trying to teach me something important and I am not listening. OOPS I think that I got off the subject.... Sorry.. anyways.. So Nicole, my friend, and I are going to lunch next Monday for the last time for a while. There are so many things that I was to say to her, but I don't want to leave on bad note.. I should just tell her what is on my heart and pray that she understands what I am saying... Much easier said than done!! So by now you are all saying to yourself the women needs help, right? Well, I don't need help just some prayers that I can better understand what God is telling me, and that I can find comfort in his word. Thanks for reading... God bless you all!!