Living wide open. How?

What a life. I am so stressed right now, I am not sure what I am doing. Nothing it making sense to me. Sometimes I wish that God would make things clear to me, but lately he hasn't.. To be honest I am lost. I just came back from Middle School Camp.. I was a counselor for 8 young women. The theme was Wide Open, and I am not living my life wide open that is for sure. I am living it in a small way.. I thought that I was living a wide open life but I am not. There are many fences in my life that I need to bust though, but i am not sure where to start. I thought that I was happy with how I looked, but I am not. I know that this is how God wanted me to be, but it is hard to believe it. I think this is the biggest fence that i need to bust though, but how can I do this.. I know in God's eyes I am perfect, and I should be happy with that but I am not. I don't like the way I look on the outside, but on the inside I am so beautiful. SO how do I get my mind to beleive this? I wish there was a answer for that question... FENCES... How does one break though them. I want to do this, I want to get though all my fences. So I guess I start out with the small ones and work my way though them.. I just pray that God leads me the right way. I pray that my heart and mind will listen to him and make changes.
This is my journey and I have to live how God would wants me to. I have to live wide open and not be afraid of what God hands me.