Life never seems as easy as it seems. I thought that I had things figured out or at least going in the right direction until last night (Thursday). It hasn't been as easy week, so last night i lost it. My temper got the best of me, and I took out on the one person that has done nothing but love me. I felt like crap the rest of the night because I upset the one person that who was just trying to help me. It never fails that I can mess something up because instead of just staying calm I blow up. I don't always deal with stress in the best way possible, I tend to let things build up and blow up and then I am fine. This should have never happened last night. Yes I was upset with what was going on, and I should have just kept my mouth shut, but I didn't and I paid the price. I wish i could take it back but I can't, I just need to pick up the pieces as they lay and try to put them back together and pray that I will come out of this a stronger, more faithful woman. Though I am not sure what God's plan is, I am not sure I how on board I am with him right now. Don't get me wrong, I still putting my faith in God, I am just not 100% on board with the plan he is giving me. I believe that God's plan is the right one, I just questioning why things are happening they way they are. I want so bad to just have a simple life, you know one that isn't so complicated. A life with little to no stress, a life that there isn't arguing, random blow ups. Is there a life like that? I believe that there is when you let God guide you 100% of the time. But why can't I just let God do his work and I just go with the flow? Is it because I want to control what is going on in my life, or is it I can't give up control? What ever the case maybe I am praying that I can just listen to God, and not try to do things my way, because my way isn't working so well for me. If there is one thing I know that is my way is never always the right way. So I am going to try and listen to God and let him guide me and try not to go against what his plan is for me.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment